From a writing point of view (bear with me - it’s a habit of my working lifetime) this is the perfect Substack post. A personal story, a qualifiable explanation, a challenge. Thank you for your generosity, Kate, I’m continually learning from you.
P.S. I am sitting with the word challenge, Barrie. I offered it as an invitation – to provide a practical exercise in case helpful but realise now that I forgot to frame it that way. I should have made that clear. 🫶
"Enough – but not too much. Capable, unflappable, the person others could lean on...If I just kept achieving, kept overdelivering, kept being useful, I’d be okay." So much that resonates. Thank you for your openness.
You’re welcome, Elisabeth. I felt my threat drive activate posting it out into the world but my drive to write authentically was stronger. Been cultivating my soothing state this weekend. Through Compassion Journalling, reading and art making. The latter is more rare and very welcome. …I’m looking forward to reading something from you one day soon. :)
'Drive felt like the solution to threat.' That resonated. I just this week finished a period of NHS psychotherapy (extraordinary, I know, but it does exist) based around the three systems and finding a healthier balance - ie bringing soothe into play. It's been transformational.
Wonderful to hear. Thank you, Alex. I will share some tools that help activate soothing in future articles but if you have any you feel comfortable sharing here, please do.
For me, it came down to awareness. Once I recognised the disparity in my three systems and how I'd neglected soothing in favour of drive - and how both were dominated by threat - I was able to start seeing soothe as a legitimate right and begin focusing on ways to build that.
Thank you for sharing with such generosity Kate bringing light to us out of your past experiences. I was comforted by my Soothing image cocooning everything else but with permeable edges allowing my drive to emerge when the time is right. Thank you
Thanks for sharing this Kate. It took me ages to realise that there is a bit difference between drive and motivation. Motivation feels like part of my soothing system and I love it when I'm there - very close to flow!
From a writing point of view (bear with me - it’s a habit of my working lifetime) this is the perfect Substack post. A personal story, a qualifiable explanation, a challenge. Thank you for your generosity, Kate, I’m continually learning from you.
What an incredibly kind and generous thing to say, Barrie. Thank you. 🙏
P.S. I am sitting with the word challenge, Barrie. I offered it as an invitation – to provide a practical exercise in case helpful but realise now that I forgot to frame it that way. I should have made that clear. 🫶
I was touched by your open and honest sharing, Kate. Thank you for doing that.
Thank you, Elizabeth. 🫶
"Enough – but not too much. Capable, unflappable, the person others could lean on...If I just kept achieving, kept overdelivering, kept being useful, I’d be okay." So much that resonates. Thank you for your openness.
So much here that resonates. "Enough – but not too much. Capable, unflappable, the person others could lean on..." Thank you for your openness.
You’re welcome, Elisabeth. I felt my threat drive activate posting it out into the world but my drive to write authentically was stronger. Been cultivating my soothing state this weekend. Through Compassion Journalling, reading and art making. The latter is more rare and very welcome. …I’m looking forward to reading something from you one day soon. :)
'Drive felt like the solution to threat.' That resonated. I just this week finished a period of NHS psychotherapy (extraordinary, I know, but it does exist) based around the three systems and finding a healthier balance - ie bringing soothe into play. It's been transformational.
Wonderful to hear. Thank you, Alex. I will share some tools that help activate soothing in future articles but if you have any you feel comfortable sharing here, please do.
For me, it came down to awareness. Once I recognised the disparity in my three systems and how I'd neglected soothing in favour of drive - and how both were dominated by threat - I was able to start seeing soothe as a legitimate right and begin focusing on ways to build that.
Thank you for sharing with such generosity Kate bringing light to us out of your past experiences. I was comforted by my Soothing image cocooning everything else but with permeable edges allowing my drive to emerge when the time is right. Thank you
Thank you, Red Gray, you’re kind to say so. I love your image of a soothing cocoon with permeable edges! Beautiful.
Thanks for sharing this Kate. It took me ages to realise that there is a bit difference between drive and motivation. Motivation feels like part of my soothing system and I love it when I'm there - very close to flow!
Thanks, Jacky. It can be tricky to unpick and multiple systems can be at play at any one time.